When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it. What an iconic line by Paulo Coelho—both inspiring and thought-provoking at the same time. But how true is it? Does the universe truly conspire in our favor, or is destiny an irreversible force beyond our control?
Ok, wait a second. Trace the path of your life journey to the present, where you stand today. What did you find? Are you where you once imagined yourself to be? Well, the answer is a big no for most of us. Uncertainty in our lives takes us away from our expectations. This is the game of destiny—pushing, pulling, and shaping our lives in unexpected ways.
I, lately, encountered the idea of destiny while reading The Alchemist, the first book I started my reading journey with. By the time I turned its last page, I was totally amazed. I can certainly say that life is mysterious, and destiny and free will have some interconnection.
Let’s dive into the concept of destiny. Can it truly be shaped by our willpower, or is it something etched into our fate? Can we bend it to our desires, or are we merely travelers on a predestined path?
Defining Destiny: The Personal Legend
We are all born into this world with a simple truth: to survive, we must do something. In exchange, we earn money to sustain ourselves. In this process, we’re often told to follow our passion and find our purpose. In the end, after a long struggle, people acknowledge what they get as their destiny.
Consider my friend. He studied chemical engineering, dabbled in banking, ventured into blogging, and tried to run an Instagram theme page. But he could not succeed in any of these. He also wanted to be a YouTuber but couldn't make it even after trying four times.
Today, in his fifth attempt, he’s a successful YouTuber helping millions grow their online businesses. But was YouTube always his destiny? And was helping people grow their businesses his purpose? If so, why did he fail four times on YouTube? And why did the universe direct him to chemical engineering, blogging, and Instagram before he arrived here? Could it be that the universe doesn't allow us to choose our own personal legend? Perhaps it’s through trial, error, and persistent efforts that we uncover it.
Then there is my cousin. Her dream is to travel the world. She feels a deep longing to explore, but societal pressure keeps her grounded all the time. She often reflects on, “What will people think? I am sure in such cases society is always ready to say, Look at this girl, how reckless is she? Who will marry a girl like that?” Trapped by fear of judgment, she put her dream aside and became a teacher. How many people bury their dreams for the sake of societal approval?
There are so many who hesitate to follow their personal legend because it requires going against conventional notions. And yet, there are those who boast about their dreams but never take a single step towards them, as they don't want to step out of their comfort zone. But what if my cousin found the courage to defy expectations and pursue her dream? What if the comfort seekers dared to embrace discomfort and take the first leap? Is destiny truly predetermined, or do we shape it with the choices we make in our lives?
Listening to the Heart: Trusting Intuition
We often face confusion when choosing between options. This confusion is often fueled by our emotions. An individual can make better decisions by learning to distinguish between needs and desires. But what if I told you it’s actually easy to choose between your need and your desire?
Most people make decisions based on expectations rather than intuition, and that is where they often fail. The truth lies in intuition. The power of intuition develops over time with consistent practice. There’s a simple way to distinguish between your mind and your heart, which can also be seen as distinguishing between desire and need.
When you are confused, try to calm yourself and delve deep into your thoughts. Ask yourself the question you’re struggling with. You’ll notice two inner voices—the "god" and the "devil" inside you. Your mind often leans toward desires, while your heart points you toward your needs.
Imagine you’ve studied for six hours today. Your mind might say, “That’s enough for today; let’s relax and watch Netflix.” But if you pause and ask yourself, “Is it really necessary to watch Netflix now, or can I do something more productive—like reading, spending quality time with family, or studying for two more hours?”
You’ll find two distinct answers within you:
1. Your heart (need) will say, “You still have energy, and doing something productive will benefit you in the long run.”
2. Your mind (desire) will say, “You’ve done enough; take some rest now and watch Netflix.”
If you follow your mind, you’ll likely give in to temporary pleasure and lose momentum. But if you listen to your heart, even though it may seem harder at the moment, it will always be beneficial in the long run. The key is not to let emotions ride over you but to choose needs over desires and intuition over expectations.
My cousin faced a similar dilemma. She always dreamed of traveling the world, but her mind told her not to follow her dreams because society might criticize her. She listened to her mind and let her dreams go.
Now, imagine if she had paused and asked herself, “Does society’s criticism truly matter? Or should I take the first step toward my dreams?” She might have discovered her true answer. Her heart would likely have told her to follow her dreams.
Destiny: Predetermined or Changeable?
Whether destiny is predetermined or can be changed is a complex topic. I believe it is both. Let me explain:
Imagine you aim to crack a civil service examination. Here are two scenarios:
1. You don’t prepare adequately:
- You fail, and this becomes your destiny.
2. You prepare with full focus:
- Case 1: You pass, and it becomes your destiny.
- Case 2: You fail despite your efforts. This, too, becomes your destiny.
In all cases, the outcome may seem predestined. However, the key takeaway is that you should always give your best and listen to your heart. Regardless of whether destiny is predetermined or not, your efforts and intuition shape your path.
If you like someone and never approach them, your chances of being with them are zero. But if you approach them, your chances increase to 50%. Whether you succeed or fail, taking action based on your heart and intuition will always be more fulfilling than giving in to fleeting desires or fear. Always prioritize your heart over your mind, your needs over desires, and your intuition over expectations.
The Universe and Synchronicity
I want so many things in life, but I haven't achieved all of them. Yet, unexpectedly, I often receive things I may or may not have dreamed of. This makes me question the line by Paulo Coelho: "When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it." Is it true, or is it a false assertion? I leave this question open.
However, I'd like to share an incident from my life that might shed some light on this. In my primary school, students didn't wear well-fitted or smart uniforms. It was a basic dress code—no tie, no shoes, and no need to tuck in your shirt. You just had to put on a white shirt and blue pants to attend class. But as a child, I dreamed of going to a school where students wore ties, shoes, and formal uniforms. I wasn’t actively thinking about this dream, but I liked the idea of wearing such attire.
When I was in fifth grade, I learned about a government boarding school. I saw their uniform, and some of my relatives were also studying there. I liked everything about the school so much that I decided to prepare for the entrance exam. Fortunately, I passed the exam and joined the school. This is how I fulfilled my dream of attending school in formal dress with a tie and shoes. While preparing for the exam, I have no idea that the universe is pushing me there. It was when I was in class eight that I realized that my dream of wearing a tie and shoes while attending class was fulfilled. This incident makes me believe that Paulo Coelho’s line is true. Apart from this experience, I haven’t always received what I wanted.
But I have experienced a mystery of the universe. I’ve realized that the universe often guides us towards something we don’t even know about. Sometimes, something happens that makes us regret or question why it occurred. But later, a phase comes in life when we realize it was all for our good. Obstacles appear, but somehow, we manage to overcome them. Have you ever felt this way?
I have always felt that life leads us toward something we are meant for, even if we don’t know what it is at the time. When we reach that point and reflect back, we often realize that everything that happened was all for our good. The universe tests us and makes us capable of achieving our goals. If I talk about my engineering friend, the universe made him explore various fields, from banking to blogging and from Instagram to YouTube. He gained knowledge in diverse areas, and by using this experience, he can understand his clients better and help them grow effectively. He failed four times before becoming a successful YouTuber and businessman. That was his phase of learning—the universe was preparing him for what he is today.
My cousin is a teacher now, and she always encourages her students to follow their dreams because she has experienced the pain of not following her own dreams. When students tell her, "Ma'am, I have a dream of becoming a painter," she encourages them to pursue it, even though painting is not her subject. There are many teachers who force their students to perform well only in their specific subjects. In contrast, my cousin is an example of a good teacher because she understands that every student has unique interests and abilities. The universe made her capable of understanding her students by preventing her from pursuing her own dreams. However, she occasionally takes time off and goes traveling. Her earlier worries about "what society would say" were all for her own good.
Conclusion
Whether destiny is real or not, whether the universe guides us or not, and whether we can shape our destiny or not are philosophical questions without concrete evidence. In this regard, what truly matters is to keep moving forward. Focus on what needs to be done for yourself and try to live in the present, give your full effort to whatever you are doing. Leave the rest to the universe or destiny, whatever it may be. After reading The Alchemist, I decided to work consistently with focus, regardless of the situation. I believe that the only thing truly in your control is yourself. How you react to a particular situation or decision is entirely up to you. So, when you can’t go back, the only option is to keep moving forward.